Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Tiger Who Earned Her Stripes

I don't consider myself as someone who is obsessed with how they look. I don't care if I go to the grocery store in my pj's, I don't have a meltdown if my hair isn't cooperating, and personally I think blacks/browns/blues go together perfectly. But there is always that one thing that every women fears. Dare I say it?


Don't even lie. Whether it's those couple extra lingering pounds or your cottage cheese saddlebags, every girl would change at least one thing about her body to boost her confidence at the beach. We all HATE that look from tiny girls who look like they just stepped away from their Victoria's Secret photo shoot, especially when they give us the look of "throw Shamu back in the ocean." Truth be told, Skinny Minnie goes home at the end of the day and looks in the mirror and sees something she would change too. It's not low self-esteem, it's human nature. In most cases its healthy. It motivates you to be active and to work towards something. You can still love the skin you're in but just want to tighten or tone. My biggest fear was always stretch marks.

I was okay with my less-than-flat abs, jiggly legs and non-existent rear end - as long as I didn't have stretch marks. In fact, that was my biggest fear of pregnancy. Looking back on it now I realize how selfish and ridiculous I was being but I couldn't help it. I swore by cocoa butter and it worked for the most part. I got one tiny mark by my belly button piercing and just a couple on my hips that didn't even make it to full marks, they just looked like little scars. I was pretty stoked. 

Until my C-Section. 

Most have heard of my nightmare delivery, but if you haven't all you need to know is it sucked. I got my very first contraction while cooking biscuits and gravy, and my next contraction was exactly six minutes after. After 6 hours or so of contractions that were now every 5 minutes apart, I trekked my butt into the ER only to hear "Yes they're real contractions and very steady, but you haven't dilated at all." This went on for 3 days. I finally dilated to a 4 and was admitted. About 20 hours later I was pushing for 3.5 hours before I was wheeled back for a c-section. All-in-all, I was VERYYY swollen... everywhere ... in places I didn't even know could swell, resulting in   s t r e t c h   m a r k s. I was livid that I conquered pregnancy without them and the aftermath is what screwed me. They really aren't that bad and they continue to fade everyday. I have a happy and healthy baby, so every mark was worth it. My body isn't ruined, I'm a tiger who earned her stripes. 

So that's my bikini season complaint, what's yours?

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