Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Tiger Who Earned Her Stripes

I don't consider myself as someone who is obsessed with how they look. I don't care if I go to the grocery store in my pj's, I don't have a meltdown if my hair isn't cooperating, and personally I think blacks/browns/blues go together perfectly. But there is always that one thing that every women fears. Dare I say it?


Don't even lie. Whether it's those couple extra lingering pounds or your cottage cheese saddlebags, every girl would change at least one thing about her body to boost her confidence at the beach. We all HATE that look from tiny girls who look like they just stepped away from their Victoria's Secret photo shoot, especially when they give us the look of "throw Shamu back in the ocean." Truth be told, Skinny Minnie goes home at the end of the day and looks in the mirror and sees something she would change too. It's not low self-esteem, it's human nature. In most cases its healthy. It motivates you to be active and to work towards something. You can still love the skin you're in but just want to tighten or tone. My biggest fear was always stretch marks.

I was okay with my less-than-flat abs, jiggly legs and non-existent rear end - as long as I didn't have stretch marks. In fact, that was my biggest fear of pregnancy. Looking back on it now I realize how selfish and ridiculous I was being but I couldn't help it. I swore by cocoa butter and it worked for the most part. I got one tiny mark by my belly button piercing and just a couple on my hips that didn't even make it to full marks, they just looked like little scars. I was pretty stoked. 

Until my C-Section. 

Most have heard of my nightmare delivery, but if you haven't all you need to know is it sucked. I got my very first contraction while cooking biscuits and gravy, and my next contraction was exactly six minutes after. After 6 hours or so of contractions that were now every 5 minutes apart, I trekked my butt into the ER only to hear "Yes they're real contractions and very steady, but you haven't dilated at all." This went on for 3 days. I finally dilated to a 4 and was admitted. About 20 hours later I was pushing for 3.5 hours before I was wheeled back for a c-section. All-in-all, I was VERYYY swollen... everywhere ... in places I didn't even know could swell, resulting in   s t r e t c h   m a r k s. I was livid that I conquered pregnancy without them and the aftermath is what screwed me. They really aren't that bad and they continue to fade everyday. I have a happy and healthy baby, so every mark was worth it. My body isn't ruined, I'm a tiger who earned her stripes. 

So that's my bikini season complaint, what's yours?

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Oh hey, remember me?

As many people know via Facebook, I have been working my tootie off to lose the rest of my baby weight. Yes, 9 months later I'm still battling the pregnancy aftermath nightmare. As much as I complain about not seeing my results, my clothes are starting to get saggy on me. On Wednesday and Saturday I go to bootcamp to see my personal trainer. I've never been pushed harder in my life. I recall a couple times actually falling over while trying to do one more squat, or praying to sweet baby Jesus the dumbbells don't fall on my face on my last rep. In between bootcamp sessions I run 3 miles at least 3 times a week at our gym. My biggest pet peeve are THOSE girls. 

How to spot THAT girl:
1. She has her hair down and not one hair is out of place. (It isn't a rats nest drooping on the top of her head with her bangs plastered to her face from sweat.)
2. She has thee cutest/matching newest line of under armor gear with her perfectly new shoes that look like they have never seen a real work-out. 
3. Little Miss Perfect walks to a machine and pumps her leg twice.. walks to the treadmill and walks for two minutes.. lays down (on a towel because heaven forbid her workout clothes get dirty) does 5 crunches - 10 on a good day! And through her really tough workout that she didn't even break a sweat from, she managed to drink an entire bottle of gatorade because she is soo tired. 
4. Then said THAT girl walks by you and gives you the look of death. Like "Oh my god look at how that girl is dressed. Look at how SWEATY she is.. she looks like that in public?"

I'm not a workout goddess by all means, but I can say that looking the part and just physically being at the gym isn't going to make the pounds melt away. If you're putting in the time, put in the work. Enough said. 

Anyways, on my longest streak of anti-blogger, Brinley has grown up so much. She now eats anything and everything she can get her hands on. Most of the time its actual food from mine or her daddy's plate, but we've had to dig many things out of her mouth (cardboard coasters, rocks, tags, toilet paper or her favorite - butt wipes - unused of course). She discovers many things now that she's been crawling for a month. And let me tell you, this baby is quick when she's on a mission! She covers some square footage. It's exciting to see her learning and growing up healthily, but it breaks my heart to see my baby girl getting so big. The cliche is so worn out that "time flies" but children put a whole new meaning to the term. I already look back on her pictures of when she was "younger" aka 3-4 months ago and say "Look at how small she was!" 

I hope it's not a decade before I'm motivated enough to sit down and blog again. I always feel so relieved afterwards, like I couldn't wait to get all this off of my chest. I know I'm kind of strange like that. Welcome to my crazy life!